wifey, the cleopatra over ALL my ex-maids

wifey, the cleopatra over ALL my ex-maids

wifey was in a solemn sunken mood ever since monster in law laughed herself to death. the recent visit from pregnant lesbo, horny cousin john and mini-me lesbo didn't cheer up up much. after they left, she sunk back .....

last sunday, the gate bell rang. guess what?

there was a motley bunch of maids calling out "mum, mum, mum!" from the outside of the gate.

OMG!! my running maid carla, monster hippo maid and each brought alonng another maid friends come avisiting.

the wifey was pleasantly surprised. she opened the gate electronically and let all the maids in.

it was a ladies affair. or rather CLEOPATRA with her bevy of maids - ex that is. all thanks to lesbo who before she flew off, had met all these maids and related to her how down mum cleopatra aka wifey was. last sunday, all the ex-maids unite and decided to visit wifey.

well, they really treated her like cleopatra. each held one of her limbs and get her a manicure and pedicure. after they were done, each massaged a limb.

so i better buzz off and left the girls alone to remininsce.......

ball-carrying lesbo

ball-carrying lesbo

good friday was really a big surprise for me.

without anounoucement, in popped horny cousin john with lesbo. i almost couldn't recognise lesbo. she was more feminine now and didn't look manlier than me no more. what a makeover!

she was with makeup. it was the first time my whole family ever saw her in makeup. the trademark bucktooth gave way to confirm it was really lesbo.

our jaws nearly dropped! lesbo used to play basketball during her off days. now she was carrying one. she was pregnant!

great work, horny john! you truly lived up to your horny name.

the finally surprise - lesbo was carrying twins.

OMG!! horny john, we really have to give in to u!

SALUTE!!

grand finale

 grand finale...lesbo married john and moonster in law died!g

both wifey and I were shocked out of our freaking minds. our eyes almost popped out and our jaws were wide agape.
monster in law who just woke up was walking towards the kitchen. passing us, she noticed our ludicrous expression and burst into frenzy laugher.

she laughed and laughed so hard and suddenly she frozen and dropped onto the floor. OMG! monster in law just dropped dead from hysterical laughter.

"ah ma, ah ma!!' manly lesbo sprang into action calling out and shaking senseless monster. it was timely that she had learned some basic first aids and she executed CPR. wifey and i now got even shocker and was running around in circles in excitement not knowing what to do.
cousin horny john immediately called for the ambulance.....but it was too late. monster in law was gone. oh well, at least died happily laughing.

so what's next?

well, it was a curse disguised in a blessing or a blessing in a curse? whatever, the sudden death of monster in law unwittingly solved many important social issue for wifey and I.

first of all, we didn't need to fly over filippins to attend horny john and lesbo's outrageous wedding. and there was no better excuse than to use the mourning over monster's demise for avoiding that.

in a way, it was a happy ending for everyone.....and er...we rid monster in law and so the home should be less stressful without her noisy presence

as for horny john, he would be planning to emigrate to filippins and lived with lesbo hopefully happily ever after......

this marks the end of BRALESS MAID IN MAN'S UNDIES saga.

but wait!!

how cum i ve this weird sensation that it might not be the end yet??

ok, for now that's it! thanks for reading and hope u ve a good laugh 

 for now, it would be maidless days for a while since monster-in-law already died laughingly.

our next maid akan datang would like be a mynmar girl. hmmmm.... BURMESE MAID IN TIGHT SARONG ??? the next maid story? 

lesbo is pregnant! OMG!!

lesbo is pregnant! OMG!!

i m still in a state of shock, awe and total disbelief.

cousin horny john was back alright. along with him, he brought home lesbo. yep! the braless maid in man's undies. along with lesbo, she brought home mini-lesbo  - her adopted pinay daughter. though not maternal, the little pinay striked a weird resemblance to lesbo with her trademark sai kwa pow set of buck teeth. even her mannerism was exact duplicate of lesbo. she was an authentic mini-me lesbo!!

john brought lesb n mini-lesb to visit me. wifey was stunted to her bones. if u were to observe more carefully, her permed hair seem to be erecting on its ends. LOL!! her jaws were agaped wider than JAWS the man-eating shark and her eyes widened until almost popped out!

"hi mum!" lesbo greeted her. "how are you mum?" then she blurted like holding back some vomit. oh no!! was it what i was most apprehensive about? lesbo could be pregnant!!

well, wifey was still in a daze. mouth agape, she was speechless. i mean really really speechless!

horny john was amused at the extreme reaction so he broke another atomic bombastic news. he wanted to marry lesbo and be officially man and "man". OMG and santa maria!!

what could i say?? now my jaws were agape and speechless!!

horny cousin John's coming back this sunday

yep! another long distance call from horny cousin john from the fillipins. was wondering whether it was the long distance or did i actually hear panting with moaning baclground effect?

" cous....(sigh, heave, sigh.....), i am comin ...(ah, ah...ahhhh).... back this sunday...." was that a heavy panting or the interferences of the phone line?

smooching....heaving...panting...moaning...groanin g.....

hell!! what was horny john up to and what the hell was he doing now? it sounded like he was humping someone!!

oh shit!! it can't be lesbo! i hope 

 after hanging up, i had a strange eerie premonition. i felt a weird chill and all my goosepimples were erected......

i got this tingling feeling that the affinity with lesbo the braless maid in man's undies hadn't ended yet.

SHE'LL BE BACK!!

passed midnite.

the phone rang.

"cous, i m back!".......

finding lesbo

finding lesbo

just got a long distance call from cousin horny john from the filippins.

Great! he finally found lesbo. as a bonus, he also got lesbo's adopted daughter and now he brought them to stay with him in a posh hotel.

well, i guess he would be back sgp soon.....

 finding lesbo

the pinays catfight.....

was that lesbian in black T and a cap with the blue pinay who was probably margarita??

5 days without lesbo....

5 days without lesbo....

lesbo had been sent back. it was almost a week, her absence was felt.....

when i came out from the toilet, usually she would be there as i opened the toilet door. now, she wasn't. it was kinda weird when you were so used to seeing her just outside the toilet door after u had done your big time in the toilet.

wifey and monster in law went about their usual activities. there was this sickening damning silence. you don't hear the horrendous sniggering of monster in law when she was being massaged by lesbo. neither was the loud groaning and moaning of wifey. i guess they really missed lesbo's "manly" touch during her orgasmic massage.

all was quiet.

suddenly my handphone rang.....

"cous," it was horny john. "i m at the airpot now... leaving for fillipins.....i gonna look for lesbo. won't be back for a while. please go over my house and check things out once awhile, ok."

"huh? wait!"

clicked. john hang up. shits!!

he must have been kidding! didn't realise john was so serious this time. i tried to call him. i had so many question marks hanging over my head????????

his handphone was off. guessed he must have boarded the plane. what's next?

wait lor. what else was i suppose to do?

it was awfully quiet at home as we waited for the arrived of the next maid...... which should be pretty soon

what a complicated love affair!

 what a complicated love affair!

sunday. lesbo's off day......

she left in very macho attire. she wore her new $300+ NIKE sports shoes which was a brilliant yellow and very "macho". she put on her very expensive T-shirt which wifey gave her. and no, wifey didn't give me outrageous sexy undies this x'mas. hahahaha.... she put on a really "black man" necklace which was loud and catchy.

off she left the house early for her basketball session with her bunch of ardent pinay fans. she was good basketball player and therefoore her pinay fans. horny john picked her up and off they went to some neighbourhood basketball court. john was also playing but he wasn't called horny john for nothing. he was there to exploit the situation to have "close bodily contacts" with the bevy of pinays. some of them were very sexy with big boobs. the biggest among them was none other margarita's who was the target why horny john was there.

during the game, john only chased after the ball or rather the pair of balls of margarita. surprisingly, margarita didn't shun him. in fact, she was leading john along. during the break, she hooked up john and began to seduce him. unknown to them lesbo had been observing. margarita was bitchy and trying to teach lesbo a lesson for shunning her. she was giving lesbo a taste of her own medicine by seducing john.

the finale was inevitable. the bitch and the butch began to argue over john. they finally bashed it out.....the clawing, scratching and biting. the loud obscene shouting, cursing, swearing and even spitting attracted a bigger crowd than when they were playing basketball....

finally, lesbo was home. this time more bruises and scratches and omg! the nasty toothmarks!!

that's it!!

next day, wifey ordered lesbo to pack her things. she was sending her back.

that ended our story of LESBO - THE BRALESS MAID IN MAN'S UNDIES.

is this the end?

wait long long!

i think there's going to be a PART 2 soon cos horny john just told me he's flying to fillipin to look for lesbo.

well, stay tuned then......

with heavy heart, wifey and i agreed that lesbo gotta go.....

we are now hunting for another maid. this time maybe we would hire a burmese or a viet. we shall curb our temptation to get another pinay or worst a indo or worserest a bitchy PRC who may jolly well seduce me. hahahaha....

what a rosy bloody 2015!!

what a rosy bloody 2015!!

as usual, the generous kind hearted wifey allowed lesbo half day off to gang up with her pinay comrades to celebrate countdown for 2015 last night.

2015. look what happens to lesbo?!!

her cheeks were rosy red - not from the kissing but from the bashing instead.

wifey's jaw nearly dropped when lesbo related the whole "rosy bloody" new year eve......

lesbo was having a great time with her gang of pinay admirers and gfs. they were mostly the butches and the bitches. they were having such fun when they began to share their sexperiences. of course, our macho lesbo had plenty to share. now after mixing up with horny cousin john, her happening was even more than happening. and that was where troubles began to brew.

margarita, lesbo's bitchy gf wasn't feeling at all happy about her shared sexperiencces especially with horny cousin john and what they did in his porsche during halloween night which incidentally horny john nearly got his lupcheong bitten off by lesbo. lesbo in return was bashed involuntarily by john cos both of them was startled by some ghostly peeping tom from the nearby bush.

the other pinays were laughing their spittle off except for margarita who was fuming. she approached lesbo and without a word, smacked her right across her left cheek. well, like the bible put it: if someone smack you on the left, do allow him/her to smack you another across the right. that was precisely what happened. after the left smack, margarita did a backhand smack across lesbo's right cheek. that explained why both her cheeks were rosy. it must have been really intense anger cos the double smacks left not only rosy cheeks but a slight blue black too.

do not think lesbo is some kind soul. yes, she retaliated. of course.... and all hell broke loose!!

goodbye 2014 and welcome to a rauncous rowdy slaps, claws, kicks and bites 2015. it was a royal pandemonium of maids!! 

lesbo is morphing!

 lesbo is morphing!

oh my dear lesbo! what has gotten into you? what did cousin horny John feed u?

everyone in the family suddenly couldn't recognise lesbo anymore. from a manly maid, she had now morphed intoa petite humongous bitch or maybe butch should be more appropriate.

the most obvious morphing was her body odour. bo for short. that bloody john kept giving her funny "scented" cheap perfume. she was pouring onto herself like some heavenly manna. oh shit! when she passed u by, it kind of prompt u to wanna bash her up!

the kids were running away from her and distant themselves. they wouldn't wanna sit at the dinning table to wait for her to serve them their rice. they would rather wait in the living room or their own bedrooms and would only come to the table after everything was laid out.

suprisingly, only the wifey was intensely attracted to that perfumed stench. u could just observe all the horniness were displayed in her face. i bet if lesbo were to stand a little longer next to her, drools would start salivating.

last nite after another usual sunday date with horny cousin John, lesbo had finally morphed into a stinkbug. now what did john give her this time? stink bug cologne?? the entire house smell!

this couldn't be allowed to continue. i asked the wifey to order lesbo firstly, to take a shower using my expensive MOLTEN BROWN LEMONGRASS SHOWER GEL. 2ndly, threw all her whatever stinkbug squirts. if she refused, do not allow her to apply if she was in the house. thirdly, gave her one of her CHANEL perfume to counteract those stench before she entered the house after her date with john.

if she didn't oblige and follow MY ORDER, she shall be exterminated! and good bye , good luck to her!!

 and yes, i better call and give bloody horny cousin John a piece of my mind!

i need to borrow my li'l brother leetahsar's "magic spiritual" compass. i suspect my lesbo maid is possessed. she's acting queer and weird and no longer the manly lesbo maid we ve known.

she's morphing into a hiao teh teh bitch!! possessed?

if the compass starts spinning like in frenzy (described and instructed by LTS), it means there's a spirit possessing lesbo.....and HELL!! what should i do if that happens????

what present to give to lesbo?

what present to give to lesbo?

well, she's wearing man's undies.....maybe i recycle any that i get for this x'mas 

she's about the same size like me and if wifey buys those outrageous colorful and overly sexy ones....u bet who shall be wearing them. LOL!!

lesbo wanted a raise...

 lesbo wanted a raise...

well, wait long long!

http://images1.tickld.com/live/artic...1203173640.jpg

The Most Devious Maid Ever. This Is Why Cheaters Never Win.
justinbeaver02
http://www.tickld.com/funny/t/1087023

 

uckily, maid has no standard increase in salary anually. no 13th mth bonus. NO NOTHING. all they do is to work around the clock. it's all stated in the "contract". maybe can give her a x'mas present and another few mths, a big red angpow.

sometime u just cannot feel angry and injustice done on all the pinay maids in singapore. the gahmen is leeching more levy from them than their take home pays. 

standard maid mentality

standard maid mentality

that includes lesbo, too even though she could be a lesbian. but after flings with horny swinging bachelor cousin john, her preference was rather dubious. omg! she could be a bisexual!! brrr....

anyway, wifey changed maids like she was changing her cars from petite daihatsu to monstrous mpv. let's recall. we had a running maid, then replaced by a hippo maid and now currently lesbo. (her COE (cum on entry - for cousin) could be up soon. probably need a change soon....)

her regular flings with cousin john was getting too intimate and x-rated. just dreading the day when either cousin proposed to marry her or she would grab his balls to force him to do just that  what the heck!! not my problem, anyway.

what i had observed in pinay maids are as follows:

1. they talk alot on their mobiles.....which leaves me wondering how the hell they got so much money to keep buying phonecall?
2. they would not take lecturing - be it constructive, destructive or even instructive. as long as they feel u r "lecturing" them, u could see how evil their face changes.
3. they always love to sneak out of the house.
4. they luv to sing. mopping floor, sing. washing toilet, sing, ironing, cleaning window....sing, sing, sing. but what i hate is: when they cook, they also sing. can u imagine how much singing saliva is added into our foods? 
5.they are exceptionally curious. if u go into the toilet and overstay, once u open that door, u bet'cha there would be a curious maid staring at you outside
6. they get very horny and always misinterprete my decent joke into some X-rated ones and start giving that "kind" of look. brrrr!!


there are more but maybe i stop here.

however, no matter what, i m very grateful to the presence of maid - running, peeping or lesboing . they keep the house spick and span and handle most of the domestic chores. now that i ve grown so used to them around, i m now apprehensive at the thought that lesbo might just leave one day.....and worse! becum my cousin-in-law. OMG!!!

siow liao!!

kinky sex went wrong in halloween

kinky sex went wrong in halloween

swinging bachelor cousin, John called the next day to ask about lesbo, his last nite halloween date. i was furious and demanded to know what had happened to her and why was she bleeding from her lips and looking terrible.

silent.

heavy sigh.....

"cous, very sorry lah." began John. " it was suppose to be a halloweeny nite, you know....."

"sorry, i dunno!" rather impatient and more curious, i retorted.

"ok, ok...." he continued. "we were trying to have some fun. u know, some safe kinky fun. so we drove to a very quiet secluded park. we started stripping and lesb was really hungry. she went for my crouch. hehehe...."

wow lau!! and we thought lesbo was an international lolanto butch for just maids. wow!!

John paused..... he was quite embarrassed. "well, what happen next?" i was more curious than ever.

" she was good, cous. really super good! i would ve cum if she continued. but suddenly, there was rustling from the bushes and all of a freaking sudden, some ghoul jumped out from the bushes. in my frenzy and panic, i yelped and smacked my hand over lesb who, ahem, almost bit my precious off! ouch!!" John finally revealed. " and cous, pls keep it secret. my dick still hurts and with all her teeth marks there."



should i be laughing? hahahahaha.....!!

halloween lesbo....eeek!!!

 halloween lesbo....eeek!!!

sunday. my most dreaded day......

it was halloween, as usual off lesbo in the roaring porche of swinging bachelor cousin. it had been a regular weekly affair.

the clock almost striked midnite.....the front door creaked. slowly, it swung opened. could hear the front gate metal door slammed with a TWANG!! a roar of the menancing engine zoomed off. it awaken the dead of the night. well, at least it awoke me 

i opened the bedroom door to pop into the kitchen for a drink. from upstair i saw a shadowy figure dragging her feet and wobbling towards the kitchen. it must be lesbo back from the rendvous with bachelor cousin. with deft caution, tiptoeing to the ktchen.

a hunched figure was opening the fridge door. quietly i stood behind her hoping to scare the hell out of her. hehehehehe....

when she turned and saw me behind her, she screamed!! i screamed and nearly got a heart attack!! it wasn't makeup, lesbo was bleeding from her lips and she was placing a pack of ice over it..... and it was a terrible and horrifying sight like from a fright night movie. omg!!!

what's happening??? .............